Echoes

I don't know how to proceed in this sordid masquerade of a life. I don't even know if I should proceed in the first place. Is there anything for me here? Oh, I know I'm selfish. I always want to have something and I always want what I cannot have. Does that mean I don't have you? Probably yes.
All I do all day is blog and think of you. You in your lonely isolation, you in your dreams. And I wrap myself around your fingertips because I know no other way than this. And I already said that you're just an addiction I can't overcome. You're just that: an addiction. Nothing more and nothing less.
I weep under the arid sky of my heart because this is the way I choose to live. I choose the gravity of emotions to the lightness that is the wonder of life. I choose the weight of sadness over the conevenience of being happy. Why? Why? Why?
I don't know, again. I am wired this way.